If you missed last week, please scroll down for the two posts and review.
It is time for your journal again!
recap:
Step 1: identify the thing (behavior, thought pattern) that you find yourself struggling with. What personal cycle do you want to break!
Step 2: reframe that "thing" from Step 1 into a goal. That is, what do you want to see, experience and do in your life? E.g. instead of withdrawing and becoming timid when faced with uncomfortable circumstances, I want to be assertive and use my voice.
Step 3: the inner work. You should have identified the negative and limiting thoughts and beliefs that kept you in the undesirable cycles.
Now, in this installment, Step 4 essentially is to continue to explore how an unhealthy core belief is manifesting in our self talk.
Self Talk by definition refers to our internal conversations. Yes, whether you admit it or not, you talk to yourself! Your self talk is an extension of your beliefs and thoughts.
Do you find yourself more times than not stating that you “can’t” as it relates to steps connected to achieving your goal? Here are some examples of negative self talk.
Disqualifying language
Words or phrases that we say to and about ourselves that suggests that we are ineligible or unfit for something. Disqualifying language is dismissive of your worthiness.
e.g. This is really all I deserve.
Defensive language
Words or phrases that we say to protect ourselves even when we are not being threatened.
e.g. Why is everyone judging me because I do _______. People should just leave me, be.
Doubt
Words or phrases that lack confidence in yourself, your skills/abilities.
e.g. It's highly unlikely that I could ever kick this habit.
Debilitative language
Words or phrases that we say to and about ourselves that harps on our inabilities and/or weaknesses. Debilitating self talk causes us to get stuck in ways similar to being threatened and freezing.
e.g. I'm not strong like (insert name of someone else), this is too hard.
Deflated language
Words or phrases that we say to and about ourselves that lacks confidence or optimism. If your self talk is deflated, you are likely to ruminate or focus on all that’s not working rather than looking for good.
e.g. I've been like this for so long, there is no hope.
Deficient language
Words or phrases that we say to and about ourselves that suggest we are not enough.
e.g. This is just me, I can't ever do better (more).
the question this week:
Which theme is characteristic of your self talk? How have these kept you stuck in unhealthy cycles?
Now, bring the goal to mind and think about what you have said about or to yourself about it. Has it been positive or is it more heavily on the negative. If negative, then you are less likely to achieve the goal because your mind is so important to goal attainment.
“For as he thinks within himself, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 (TPT) #drgiasays #Jesusplustherapy #goalsetting #intentionalliving #digdeeper